Dear President Obama, Can You Please Do Us A Solid?
Dear President Obama,
I hope all is well in your world. I am writing you because I need a favor or two. I feel you’re the perfect person to ask for this favor, because you kind of made the mess in the first place, and you didn’t clean it up. You passed the job along to the person who facilitated the mess, which is an even bigger mess!
You owe us, the “We the People” folks. We’re asking you to do us a solid.
I’m sure you’ve forgotten all about us by now, as you and your beautiful family travel across the world to destinations unknown, decompressing from the daily micro and macro-aggression of racism, threats on you and your family’s lives, political shenanigans, and the hypocrisies you were subjected to in your role as President of the United States for 8 solid years (10 years if you include the primaries and run to get into office) .
I am pretty sure you had a shitty last two years in office. I could see the sarcasm and frustration on your face. My heart went out to you and Michelle. Yep, my heart went out to you… until you left office leaving the poor, woke citizenry with this little petty Mussolini-In-Chief who calls himself a leader. Why on earth did you not do your job to stop this tornado fool from getting into office? You had just one job, and that was to protect this country from enemies inside and out.
Well we had a #3 combo going on in the enemy department man, and you just fell down on the job?
And I ain’t talking about like you forget to sign a leave slip kind of boo boo Mr. President. I’m talking about a kind of boo-boo that causes the doors of said business to close down, people to get laid off, and people to lose everything they’ve worked hard for over a lifetime because you took a gamble and it didn’t pay off. You messed it up pretty bad Sir.
(I know your job description was a bit sketchy, but dammit you could have read between the lines and done more. Your Presidential oath called for it. It’s called going above and beyond the call of duty, and hell we all have to make sacrifices sometimes. It’s called real life.)
I thought you loved us, and America. How could you have made such a terrible assumption that interference by our nation’s enemies to aid little Mussolini- In-Chief wouldn’t result in him being elected? You had evidence, and I’m sure you have an intuition, yet you chose to bet on Hillary and the pant suit League of White Women instead of counting on our enemies to come through this one time. I thought you were a smart, wise man. I really thought you cared about the people. Dude, what in the hell happened?
Well Sir, after your 2016 inaction, I must take back some of the credit I’d given you. While I know no man/woman is perfect, you for the most part exhibited the ability to make good decisions, although I was 38-hot about that damn bailout of Wall Street and the auto industry. But anyway…the shit that’s going on right now is way more important. You messed up the election meddling intervention Mr. President. That one decision not to take action on election interfere will put a lasting stain on your legacy Sir.
Yup, you did it. Four of those fingers are pointing back at you.
I know you said you were trying to follow the election interference/influence rules, and you were thinking Hillary was a strong enough candidate alone to win. Well just look where that shit got us. We gave a lot old back door oppressing White women too much credit (again).
I realize you thought that White people would be wise enough to see through 45’s smoke screens and mirrors to vote right and make good decisions. And once again, they showed us they’ll vote to maintain their own privilege and squander the nation as a whole to maintain their own privilege, even if it leads to all of us being up a creek without a paddle. What’s wrong with us?
America apparently loves oligarchs. I know you already knew this, which is why you always enlisted the richest, most popular celebrities when campaigning. Our infatuation with rich folks have gotten us to this ugly place. Trying to pursue good old American dream has become our worst nightmare. If only we knew better we could have done better!
Was this presidential inaction some kind of payback for how Hillary and Bill code switched while campaigning, doing the “White Privilege Shuffle” of Democratic politics in concert with the “I got ya back Black two-step?” Were you teaching her a lesson to get the last laugh maybe? Did you decide you’re not helping anyone anymore except yourself? Maybe it was a jab at Bill who could get bigger than his britches sometimes.
You know he thought he was the first Black President until you came along.
Maybe it was a “fuck you” move for the ignorant voters who didn’t trust or like you because you were Black, the voters who didn’t want Hillary because she was a woman, or those special other bigots who decided to believed all of that fake bullshit on social media created by keyboard warriors to divide and conquer inside and outside of the country. I really don’t even know what to say right now Sir.
Whatever your reason(s) Mr. President, all I gotta say is that you got us good and fucked up here buddy. I have never seen such foolishness and fuckerization (yes, a new word is in order for this kind gas lighting crazy) in all of my days, and it’s all because of you Sir.
There’s nothing to be thankful or grateful for with that procrastination move you pulled on us. Nothing good will come from your inaction. Are you watching this train wreck of a presidency Sir? I bet you’re not. I see you and Michelle have been hanging at Beyonce and Jay-Z shows. Good for you both. You need to enjoy life after all the hell you’ve been put through by the racist GOP. They did everything but put a gun up to your face and shoot you. Politics is the reason for the discourse and distrust. I know both sides are to blame.
But what about sane, un-brainwashed voters with eyes to see, ears to hear, and the senses to know how to not vote for fascism, totalitarianism, egalitarianism and militarism? We did our parts and trusted our government to do the right thing to protect us, but you did not. You had civilian and military intel personnel around the globe who gave you info to act on, and you sat on it. You all chose to put politics before the nation’s safety. It’s inconceivable.
Mr. President, it is your fault Americans now have this grandiose narcissists as our leader. Nothing we can do about it now except accept our fates. I’m prepping now. I live near West Palm Beach near 45’s “Winter White House.” Did you know we have Black Hawks flying around quite a bit down in this part of the world since the false nuclear bombs went off in Hawaii. I know, I know. You live in Chicago, you and your family has the luxury of secret service protections, and you have Cadillac of coverage in the event something terrible happens here.
But I don’t.
You see, my current situation is that I’m prepping for power outages in the event we’re hacked. I have my fishing stuff ready in the event stores shelves are empty to catch fish for me and my family. I’m trying to keep a little cash on me in case we end up like Greece or some of those South American countries. I have a passport in the event I need to flee. I’ve been practicing a minimalist lifestyle for a few years now. Who needs tons of stuff to sit around and look at. Besides, it’s going to be worthless soon.
I’m ready to do more with less if I have to. It’s kind of like it was when I was growing up and living in poverty. I remember those day oh so well. I thank God for them too. I will be able to transition from middle class back to the old days in a heart beat if I need to. Like most Blacks and poor folks, it will be just another day in the life. I don’t have royalties from book deals and other stowed away resources from a rock star celebrity presidency like you probably have.
I’m keeping my head above water, making a way when I can, just like Florida and James on the TV sitcom Good Times.
This seems to be my final reward Mr. President for supporting you for 10 years, even working for your campaign. Thanks a million. It’s my final kick up the pants by you and our government for thinking Democrats and sane citizens would be able to keep Mr. Very Bigly from getting into the White House.
Boy Mr. President did you screw us royally. But, you could be redeemed you know?
There are two things you could do to bring us a little comfort and redeem yourself somewhat during these last phases of the New World Order that are being ushered in and implemented by the resident on the Island of Misfit Toys. I know you can’t run for office any more. But you could work to diligently and expeditiously for the next two years (Oh my God I hope it doesn’t endure that long) to do the two things a person with narcissistic personality disorder hates the most:
(1) Steal his attention. Take his beloved attention away from him with along side his nemesis Vice President Joe Biden, just like you two used to do. You know the imbecile is starving for attention.
Do stuff like you and Vice President Biden did the other day. Just drop by and visit a business and get on the news. Can you two go to the VA Hospital in DC, and just do it up big a few times per week and steal as much media attention as you can from the Mr. Megalomaniac? After four-years of his crazy, I am fatigued. I need a change of scenery.
(2) Ignore him. When you start stealing his attention, just like the old petty Patty he is, he’s coming for you (and he will because he’s just about the most arrogant ass the world has ever seen). But when he does, just smile sarcastically. You know, the way we Black folks have to do when folks are come at us with some old bullshit believing that it’s right. Considering who we are dealing with here, that may not work. You need a plan B.
Plan B is when he comes for you (as he does so frequently) and you didn’t send for him, give his crazy ass some of the savviest Black clap backs you got Mr. President. I need you to reach deep into your secret hiding place and slap him with varying clap backs that will send him into rages for days, even years maybe.
Drop the mic on him every chance you get. Intelligence with class slaying ignorance and pettiness. Well, just dress up your petty and move on. Some people don’t understand anything except slights and petty. I think we have a great candidate in 45.
In closing, I’ve made my petitions and complaints known Sir. I’m expecting to see some results soon. Now, go on and call Joe and start devising a plan so you can get back into my good graces. If you can’t do it for me and other long-time supporters, channel your super patriotic White side of the family and do it for them because they expect you to do better that you did too as the leader of the free world. If they were alive I’m sure they would be scratching their heads.
Time is of the essence here. I need you to slay some dragons for us Mr. President. We got a live one on the line. I need you to be the American you were always asking us to be. Remember:
I need to go to my laundry now Mr. President and watch something besides the news. Wishing you the peace, serenity, and safety that I am not afforded in love.
Very Bigly Sincerely,