Don’t Be A Karen

And please stop raising future Karens.

Don’t Be A Karen
Photo by Jonathan Cosens Photography — JCP on Unsplash

Trigger Warning: (Racist and derogatory ethnic slurs used by American White people)

This Is Karen.

Karen stays offended and busy offending.

Karen hates authority… and men, people of color, Blacks, kindness, sanity, solitude, and ultimately herself. She’s the ultimate peace stealer and a joy killer, the ruiner of pleasurable days, and the bringer of bad vibes.

Karen stays tangled up in her underwear about something, anything, everything. She’s the mama that ain’t happy unless other people ain’t happy kinda mama.

Karen is the queen knower of it. All of it.

Karen is the chief escalator of escalating situations and bullshit starter in charge of all the bullshits. Karen is the mistresses of premier gaslighting ceremonies. She does it so much it’s natural to her and White people. Karen believes it’s her patriotic duty to be Karen.

Karen is also a wordsmith and feeling police. She loves to twist our words, trying to trick us or guilt us into letting her have her way. Karen is an emotional roller coaster. She’s the ride you wish you’d skipped. Once you get on that ride, it’s hard to get off.

When dealing with a Karen, be prepared for her to weaponize her tears. Karens love weaponizing their tears. They learned and perfected that trick from her parents, television, and children’s books that teach White women how to cash in on their feelings and emotions. Never learning self-regulation is apparently a whole thing in White parenting. (see below).

Karens are everywhere. They are in the parks, at grocery stores, in workplaces, at church, on trains, lurking in apartment complexes, policing pools, and online in people’s comments policing folks’ words, editing our grammar, asking for clarification, and other shit that helps them feel superior.

Karen is perfect in all of her ways… in her own mystical, demented mind.

And while Karens are mostly White, from time to time, Brown Karens step up to carry the torch for the White Karens. Brown Karens love White Supremacy and all the rewards that come with that superior state of mind.

Karen is a professional minder of other people’s business. If there is some business someone doesn’t belong in, there you shall find Karen. She’s always busy mixing up in things that don’t belong to her.

Karen is a problem starter, and when she doesn’t start the problems, she has a knack for coming in and making problems worse. If there is anyone who can make life less pleasurable at the drop of a dime, Karen can. Her mere presence evokes discomfort. Those in her midst know what they can expect from her guest appearances.

Karen loves to police words, especially those in writing. She tells us we didn’t use proper punctuation, and how she majored English in school, and blah… blah… blah. It never occurs to Karen that people just don’t talk like her — nor do they want to.

Karens also love to police Blacks and people of color. They believe their number one goal in life is to tell other people what to do, especially the colored folks. She’s gonna save us whether we like it or not. Our free will be damned.

Karens are so common, people just accept her piss poor behavior as normal. Karen knows how to manipulate people, getting them to let her off easy. We often label Karen as crazy or mentally unwell, but often she’s anything but crazy. She knows exactly what she is doing.

Karens are raised to believe she must be in control of everything at all times, and when she doesn’t maintain that control she’s be groomed to believe she must have, she loses her shit. Karens are spoiled — rotten to their core.

Raising Karens

Karens are carefully crafted from birth. I know because I live in a neighborhood that acts as a Karen factory. Parents of Karens carefully groom them to become unregulated little children who grow up to become the miserable adults, making us so damned sick.

I watch Karen factories carefully. The parents of all Karens have the same routine. Have a baby girl with blonde hair most often, then let her do whatever the fuck she wants to. For instance, my neighbor allows their pretty little 2–3-year-old daughter to come into the front yard and scream at 7am in the morning for no damned reason, as if the rest of us don’t want to sleep. Karen’s parents allow her to do as she pleases with no regard for their neighbors. They have set the tone for Karen to disregard anyone in her earshot from now on.

Baby Karen won’t stay in her stroller when the family takes walks. Dad puts her in, she climbs right back out. Baby Karen exercises her White privilege to do as she pleases every chance she gets. She misbehaves with no repercussions ever, setting the tone for the rest of us to deal with future Karens’ crap as she ages.

Baby Karen and dad will go through their daily routines of him chasing her, her saying no, her screaming and falling out, then doing the thing dad asked her not to do at least 10 times a day. Each time he gives up like a sucker and Baby Karen wins again. The factory that produces Karen is deeply flawed, yet it continues cranking out new Karens every day. The wealthier the family, the more likely it is to produce a Karen. Privilege breeds Karens. Poor kids aren’t allowed to behave in such a matter.

Poor parenting is the reason Karen she believes she can do almost anything she wants to, to anyone, without consequences. Daddy’s allowing Karen to get away with disrespecting him is how you get White women trained Karen to believe it’s okay for her to disrespect authority like the police.

It starts with Karen’s White dad, because Black and Brown daddies know they better not try any kind of shit with cops unless they can pass as white. Dad tells Baby Karen to do something, and she disobeys. Dad does nothing. In a few tries Baby Karen has learned to disobey authority.

Authority is for other people, not for baby Karen. Baby Karen learns she is the authority in her home and in her life. Little Karen also is learning that there are no consequences for her actions. I watch Karen bolt down the sidewalk away from her parents’ eye shot; often parading in the street alone. Baby Karen refuses to get into and out of the car, and Karen even strips out of her nightwear in the driveway wearing nothing but her underwear. Those same pajamas cute little blonde Karen refuses to take off because her parents allow her to have her way.

Baby Karen knows how to get her way already at two or three years old. Just imagine what she will be like at 13, 23, 33, and if the Lord takes a liking to her by the time she hits 53-years-old? I hate it for the poor man, or woman who gets yoked with her. She’s already a handful. Her parents can’t do anything with her. Imagine her relationships. She will make many people miserable.

Baby Karen has already perfected being bossy, manipulative, sassy, disobedient, disrespectful, unruly, obnoxious, and disruptive — being all these things in her cute, pink princess night gown. Karen is being taught to be beautiful on the outside, ugly on the inside.

See future Karen:

My parents would never allow me to wake up disruptive, let alone disobey her. I can’t imagine what Baby Karen’s are thinking by allowing their little daughter to act so ugly. They probably aren’t thinking about the molding and shaping of a future global citizen part. They just see a pretty, blonde little White girl going through her terrible twos — two which will extend to 72 thanks to their “Submit to Manipulation” parenting style.

The old factory for making Karens never goes down. White parents everywhere are vested in making America gag again with the proliferation of Karens.

It’s very insightful and entertaining watching Karen’s White upper-middle-class parents treat little Karen as if she’s some special, fragile toilet paper. Like most kids in the habit of manipulating their parents, some kids never outgrow this behavior. Negligent parents reinforce the behavior.

Why The Label Karen Isn’t Racist

Although White people are the authors of American labeling of people, most American White people don’t know what racism is, so I don’t defer to them to define what it and what isn’t. White people upset about the term Karen and some have decided that the term is racist.

Karen (or sometimes she may be called Susan) is not racist. Karen is just a name. It’s a name that neatly encompasses all the annoying habits, actions, and character traits of women who act this way. Karen is a pleasant name for an otherwise ugly person.

For those of White people confused about whether Karen is racist, allow me to do a demonstration.

Racist and Derogatory Terms Whites Created For People of Color

These are real racist names used to describe people of color: Jigaboo, nigger, coon, ape, monkey, buck, colored, crow, mammy, spake, spook, Chinamen, Gook, Jap, Oriental, Chink, Brownie, Yellow, Colors of the Rainbow, Sand Nigger, Spick, Wetback, Prairie Nigger, Wops, Red Skin, Darkie, Kikes, Yid, Wog, Mulatto, or Wiggers. If you want to know the definition of these racist words, Google them. It’s not my job to educate White on stuff White people created.

These are racist names given to us by White people. Offensive, right? Yes indeed.

Names Black Twitter Gave To Busy, Annoying White Women

Karen and Susan.

Compared to the aforementioned list of derogatory racist labels minorities are called and the reasons for them, Karen doesn’t even compare. Trying to compare it is the equivalent of co-opting the #MeToo Movement. Karens are obsessed with oppression and freedom. Being a White on any day is better than being a nigger. Period.

White people love creating labels and grouping non-White people — they absolutely hate it when non-White people do it to them. Go figure. Black people and people of color aren’t supposed to group or define White people because in their minds they are superior.

What’s most offensive about Karen is that revels in being a Karen.

Calling a White woman Karen because she’s acting like an asshole is not the same as calling a person a nigger, spick, or a wetback because of the color of their skin. White people will not bully us into categorizing Karen as a racist label. Karen is a nice name for an ugly acting White or White passing lady.

The term Karen is a way for Black people and others to have conversations about White women exhibiting this behavior without having to give an entire litany about every irritating characteristic, character flaw, or action Karens engage in. Karen is more of a modus operandi (MO) of White women, except the behavior can sometimes borderline criminal.

Karens know how to infringe upon the rights of others and get away with it. They have the law on their side.

Blacks and people of color witnessed many Karens in action in our lifetimes. Most of us know you better than you know yourselves. I can recall Karens misbehaving in elementary school and being coddled instead of disciplined. I learned early Karens could get away with murder, and they do.

We know how you’ll react to being called on their bullshit, and like clockwork, here you come trying to recenter yourselves instead of addressing your atrocious behavior. Karens have always been Karens but because of the racially charged climate were living in, Karens are more prevalent and vocal. Karens want to be seen and heard, and they coming out of the woodwork.

I suggest White people learn what is racist and what is not racist before you jump battling with professional victims of racism. You can’t just Google something one time and think you’re an expert. It takes a lifetime to learn about racism, and even then you’ll never know it all because you don’t experience racism. Prejudice and racism are not the same thing.

Trust me White women in their feelings about Karen. This isn’t the hill you want to die on. No victims of real racism will allow you ladies to getaway with putting yourselves in the same classroom as actual victims of racism.

We must stop allowing White people to dictate what is and what is not racist. They don’t know, and as long as we allow them to get away with not knowing, they will play dumb. We must hold them accountable. It’s not our jobs to educate White people on problems they created. They learn how to do everything else they want to do; they figure out how to learn about anti-racism.

For those White women in their feelings about the term Karen and coinciding character traits defining the annoying behavior, do better. Do something about White people.

The only thing Blacks and people of color can do to protect ourselves is to identify Karens everywhere and deny them the things they love most:

1.) Centering Themselves

2.) Attention and

3.) Control

Karens can’t exist if we don’t indulge them in the same ways their parents did. Being an asshole is a privilege, and Karens have lifetime passes to be assholes with zero consequences. It seems the only consequence for Karen to-date is getting a formal name for her awful behavior. Black Twitter has given the behavior an official diagnosis and a non-scientific, non-racist name to clearly define who these people are and how they behave.

If you dislike being called a Karen, don’t be one, don’t raise them, don’t condone or enable them, and to tolerate them. It’s simple. I can’t stop being Black just like White people can’t stop being White. But what White women can control is their behavior, just like I can control mines.

Stop being Karens.

Stop minding other people’s business; threatening folks; talking when you should listen; screaming at the top of your lungs to get your way; being manipulative; bullying and bossing folks you ladies deem inferior; manipulating people by weaponizing your White tears; refusing to take responsibility for your actions; expecting Blacks and people of color to educate you when you ask and be nice while doing it; pretending to be an ally, lying on us when you’re busted; calling the police because you’re frail and you feel threatened — especially when you start shit, being disrespectful to the authority you expect others to obey, tone policing, concern trolling, wordsmithing, and anything else that annoys the fuck out of people you do.

We need a Karen reform school, a place where women who engage in these ugly activities can be delivered from their annoying ways — a reprogramming of sorts. The world could be a better place is we had fewer Karens and a lot more Robins.

Karen = Centering/Re-entering, Controlling, Attention and Manipulating, and Volatile

None of these things are racist. They are just annoying as hell.

Marley K in Quarantine

If you enjoyed this piece you may enjoy other stories that provide an outside perspective of Karens and Ellens. Follow me on Marleyisms and on Twitter.

It’s Time to Question White Parenting and Nurturing Skills
Is there a connection to White parenting and nurturing and White nationalism?
My Experience With Elevator Ellen
I’m so tired of scary White women and their silent code.
Stop Allowing White People To Dictate What Is Racist
White people shouldn’t be allowed to define racism since they claim they don’t see color — or racism for that matter.