Sometimes, when the going gets tough, the tough run for the hills. They get divorced.
The Shutdown Will Result In More Divorces
Trump’s Shutdown will do a number on a number of divorces in America. Financial stress can kill anything, including a damn good marriage or relationship. Men commit suicide when the stock market suddenly crashes. Family members will kill each other to take themselves and their family members out of misery (It happens all the time here in Florida with sick and elderly seniors, especially after Hurricane losses). A loss of income or drastic change in a family’s income sometimes is the crack that begins eventually causing the marriage to break, and sometimes these changes are the final straws for a tattered, barely hanging on marriage.
There is one thing for sure, if things don’t get better soon, there will be an increase in the number of families unable to survive due to the financial stressors of maintaining a home and providing for others.
Caring For Others Is A Huge Responsibility
If you’re childless right now and considering having children and a wife/spouse/partner, perhaps you need to consider this before making the leap.
It’s hard enough trying to care for oneself. Get yourself a wife and some children then find yourself in hard times, and you’ll have a problem on your hands. When you decide to provide, you gotta be all in. When others are looking to you for their sustenance (physical, emotional, and mental well-being) and security, oftentimes your needs are secondary. No wait, you’re last.
Not being able to provide for your family according to America’s capitalistic standards, as hard as you work and as hard as you try, sucks like hell. Too many families will break up under the stress of simply trying to provide during this economic downturn.
Not Having Money Makes You Rethink Your Choices
When the money gets low, people begin to rethink how they’ve spent money they earned (and burned), and what they could have done to possibly avoid the financial calamities they find themselves in. They say things like:
I should’ve found a new job sooner.
I wish I didn’t have the last kid or two.
I wish I would have purchased a cheaper home.
I didn’t really need a new car, I wanted one.
My wife has really made it difficult for us by buying stuff we don’t need and charging it on our credit cards.
I shouldn’t have been splurging and eating out so much.
Can’t my wife see I’m struggling? Why won’t she get a job to help us out?
I wish I would have stayed in school.
Why did I do this to myself? I never saw this coming.
I wish I would have picked another career choice.
Life has a funny way of showing us how wasteful we truly are. It also has a funny way of showing us what we can do to prepare for the future. Because hard times will come again. Going through financial hardships are usually the most painful the first time it happens, if you make it through. Learning how to adjust to life on a shoestring budget has its perks. Too many of us have things we don’t need. We need food/hygiene stuff, clothing, shelter, transportation (to get back and forth to the job) and medicine for those of us who are chronically ill.
Not having enough money makes many of us take inventory of all the crap we’ve collected. It helps a lot of us get rid of things.
Financial hardships can bring couples closer together. Going through the tough times helps to highlight a spouses character, and lets couples to work together to figure their way out of their financial binds.
But for some people, a change their lifestyle is not an option. For them, it’s either death or… divorce.
Not Having Money Brings Out The Worst In Couples
Some people simply can’t adjust to their new or temporary circumstances when life drops them on their laps. They simply crumble like a stale cookie under the pressure.
There were likely problems already in a marriage if financial stress causes it to break. Somebody was sick of somebody already. The financial stress in the relationship was simply the final straw. There are many couples parading around like everything is great, meanwhile, at home they are barely keeping their heads above water. Financial stress exacerbates the problems. They eventually come to ahead.
If you really want to know who you are married to, tell them hard financial times are coming. People run from you like you have the Black Plague or something. Money changes better. Money has the power to make people look good (when they really aren’t) and it has the power to make people behave really badly.
Money is a bad mother sucker! We give it way more power than it deserves.
The Party of Family Values Sure Is Putting A Strain On Families
The GOP and the Conservative Party is supposed to be the party of family values. It seems now more than ever nothing is further from the truth. A party platform built on family values would make sure people with families could go to work to take care of their families.
It would make sure affordable healthcare is available to women and young children so they can grow up well and remain healthy. Parents could provide at least all of their children’s needs and some of their children’s wants. The party of family values wouldn’t make life so hard it’s impossible to maintain the family they’ve noted they people in America need to go out and make. It seems really backward, and cruel. How can people trust their party leaders who say they are for families staying together when everything they’re doing is trying to tear them apart.
Parents can’t buy snacks, make car payments, pay sitters, or put gas in their cars to go to work for free. Mom is pregnant and can’t help, dad is stressed and can’t do anything. Trump and Congress have made it impossible for the family to sustain itself. It’s an unnecessary pressure stemming from a manufactured crisis that will place families in rocky grounds or even worse, in divorce court.
My heart goes out to all the men who will be stressed because they can’t pay their bills. My heart also goes out to all the men and women who will suffer because their partners and spouses berate them, mistreat neglect them, cheat on them, or abandoned them because the going got tough.
These are the time’s financial situations divorces are made of. We will be able to look back upon 2019 and pinpoint exactly when the divorce rates began to spike.
Going through financial hardships are better to go through we you have someone on your team who loves you no matter what. If you have that in your life, you’re blessed. Anyone can get together and stay together when things are good, but it takes two really strong, committed, selfless people, to stay together when things get tough. Be sure to check on your friends and family members going through these difficult times. Sometimes an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on is all a relationship needs to be saved.
Don’t suffer in silence, and don’t worry about the things you can’t do anything about. During times like these, we all must learn to be ready at the drop of a dime for anything, and be flexible to make reasonable and at times emergency life changes in order to sustain ourselves.
Stay strong. But if you’re dissolving a marriage, try to do it with grace, dignity, respect, and kindness. Financial stress coupled with divorce stress can kill. Having gone through something similar, I can tell you it’s very stressful, some days humiliating, and sometimes you just want to give up. Be flexible, be reasonable, and don’t be married to stuff. You can always recoup things, but you can never recoup time wasted.
With Love and Lots of Hope,
Marley K., January 2019 ©