Why Your Parenting Style Matters

The way we parent matters to the world. We don’t talk about it enough. An essay that goes along with my previous essay of inconsiderate parenting.

Why Your Parenting Style Matters

Why Your Parenting Style Matters To the World

A mother’s work is never done. Luis Quintero from Pexels

Parenting Is Important

The way we parent our children impacts the world. If we parent well, our children have a better chance of fairing well in the world. If we are inconsiderate or lazy parents, well — the world pays dearly for it. Your 18–20 years of inconsiderate or lazy parenting can cause the me and world 50–80 years of misery.

It’s other people who make life hard for others. Equality and equity starts with parents. If parents don’t exhibit these characteristics, their children won’t either. Our future depends on your parenting.

Parenting Is Hard

Children don’t come with instruction manuals, and neither do parents. We end up working with whatever skills mother nature gave us combined with the cards life dealt us. Children grow and change every single day, and so does the world. Learning to navigate what your child needs to survive in the world and what the world needs from your child are lifelong learning experiences. It’s a balancing act, and there is no room in the world for inconsiderate people to raise inconsiderate people. We have to share this space. We share air, water, the land, work spaces, roads, transportation, healthcare, food and agricultural resources, etc. You can’t raise kids who believe it’s all about them. It’s easy to be selfish and raise selfish little brats. It’s a lot of work raising selfless people. You won’t get everything right all the time, but you can sure try.

Raising Kids Takes A Village

It really takes a village to raise a child. We all have invaluable wisdom, skills, and knowledge to instill in lives of our little ones if parents are open vessels with eyes to see and ears to hear it. People watch. It’s one of the best ways to become socially aware of your surroundings. You don’t have to know it all, ask for help. Have no shame in asking those who have gone through the fire of parenting (and have the battle scars to prove it) for help. Almost anyone can have a baby, but not everyone can raise a kind, considerate, compassionate, empathetic, aware little person. If you’re raising kids alone or in a vacuum with people just like you, then you’re doing parenting all wrong!

That’s how inequality, bigotry, racism, homophobic, inequity, and segregation begins.

Listen to What Others See In Your Children

Listening to others is important. Let’s face it. We love our kids, and almost no one I know takes kindly to sharing character flaws or bad habits which could be detrimental to your child’s well-being in the long run. Sometimes people can see and feel things parents can’t because they are too close and too focused on other aspects of child-rearing. You could create a monster and not even realize it. Friends, teachers, grandparents, babysitters, and other relatives often get to see things in your kids they don’t display with you out of fear (or compliance demands). When someone tells you something about your child, don’t dispute it — at least not at first, anyway. Don’t doubt or discount it. Watch. Accept the truth because no one is perfect, including your kid.

Be thankful people care enough about you and your child to want to help you make them a better person. Remember, we’re sharing the world with other people. The entire world doesn’t belong to your family. Raise your kids to do no harm to the earth, or other people. Practice doing no harm.

You Will Be on Trial in the Court of Public Opinion For Your Parenting

At the end of the day, it will be your fault, or your fruit you have to bear. If your kid is a terrible kid that grows up to become a terrible adult, it will be your fault. If your kid is the kid every parent wishes they had, well — that’s your fruit. Raise kids you want to be proud of, not the kind you hate to hear about. Good people rarely fall out of the sky. They are made by thoughtful, kind, empathetic, considerate parents and villages. The effort you put (or don’t put) into parenting has a funny way of being revealed in adulthood.

What kind of parent are you? What kind of parent will you be in the future? Will you be the considerate parents who raise children prepared for the obstacles, challenges, highs, and lows of living in the world with others, or will you be those inconsiderate parents? The parents who parent with only their kid, their family, and right now in mind. The kind of parent that gives no thought to the future — for their kids’ future or ours.

Nobody will love your kids like you do, literally. Likewise, don’t expect the world to treat your kids the way you do either. While I respect everyone, your kids will dictate how they should be treated regardless of their age.

I encourage us to parent kids that are thoughtful, kind, considerate, empathetic, charitable, helpful, respectful, funny, and aware. We don’t need or want your brats who destroy, are a pain to be around, who are rude and abusive, inconsiderate, and who suck the life (in a bad way) out of a room.

Remember, your parenting will be called to the carpet until the day your kid dies. Create the kind of people you want others to love, and people who are capable of love.

©2019 Marley K. All rights reserved.

If you enjoyed this essay, you may enjoy reading this one:

Let’s Talk About Inconsiderate Parenting
Inconsiderate parents groom inconsiderate children. Let’s talk about it.